In the midst of all the madness and insanity that is my life, as
I sit here and listen to the wailing of the sirens in the far-off distance, amid
the gentle pitter patter of the rain spitting down from the heavens, I find a
deep sense of calm.
I am alone. This moment is mine; the rain is falling just for
me. The earth smells like heaven, just for me. The tender breeze blows, just
for me. The universe is speaking in strange languages tempting me, teasing me, testing
me – shaping me. Amidst the disorder of my feelings, and with intense
difficultly to form any coherent meaningful thoughts, I find myself at a momentous
juncture in life. I am finally at THAT point. Do we dream greater dreams when
the dreams we’ve had have been fulfilled?
I wonder. Living alone allows for a great deal of solitude, it allows
for deep, meaningful soul searching. It allows for pondering over ones innermost
demons – it allows for challenging oneself in ways that perhaps we even forgot
existed – it allows for the rediscovery of one’s passions, likes, dislikes and
general preferences. It allows for the discovery of brazen insight in all its
shamelessness and splendour. I appreciate the deafening silence now more than
ever. I am listening intently to my soul
and her secrets, her desires and ambitions, her dreams of discovery – and I am
learning to appreciate her cosmic sense of imagination which I gradually forgot
existed as I grew into adulthood and attained a sense of independence.
Gazing at the city lights, the image distorted somewhat by the
rain, I am overcome by the magnitude of our Creators artistry. I am deeply,
profoundly, and sincerely thankful to be here, alive today in this moment – in my
moment. Each day, along with its many trials and tribulations, its multitude of
assorted emotions – whatever comes what may – I know that possibilities are incessant
– there is no reason to stop dreaming, stop discovering, stop conquering. There
is no reason to stop living – to stop truly feeling alive. There is no reason
for living a life devoid of meaning and substance, a passionless, loveless life.
Yes, I am in love – in love with so many things and some amazing people, and I
will constantly fall in and out of love with all sorts of things in life – but at
the very least, if but anything, I am alive, in this moment – in my moment. I
am here, breathing, thinking, feeling, hurting – but alive – and ready to
embrace whatever challenges life’s curve balls may throw at me!
